101st

Oh. Look. It is 1st January. Again.

Why aren't !s allowed in labels?

Life, uncomplicate. Now.

24/03/2010
There is never an alternative to good ol' crying. Too good a vent. But then, your head hurts.

22/07/2010
Can't even advertise my blog since I am not writing anything...

21/08/2010
Stranded alone by a road with a broken slipper. No auto in sight. A man on bike. Screeches to a halt right in front of me. Reaches in his pocket. Pulls out a feviquick. "You should really fix that slipper."

02/09/2010
Earlier my watch was slow. I used to add 8 minutes every time I referred to it. I fixed it. Now it isn't as much fun as it used to be to look at the time.

19/09/2010
Dev Anand- Perhaps the only one who can dangle a gun lop-sided and still shoot straight ahead.

22/09/2010
I never carry an umbrella. Call it my silent rebellion against the rain.

14/10/2010
I am sad because I am not happy.

05/04/2011
The Delhi Metro is like an inside joke between every one in the city.

28/03/2011
:D :D :D :I Well, one can't keep grinning forever.

28/03/2011
I wish I could get all my status updates printed into a book.

28/03/2011
I know why I stopped blogging. I started social networking.

16/01/2011
What is money worth?

16/01/2011
That which you do not know of, you do not own.

29/04/2011
My life is full of 4 'o' clocks.

29/04/2011
I have started looking and analyzing events in small units called status updates.

29/092011
Absolute pessimists should all technically be dead.

Undated:
What? The Indian Woman is chased? Oh, chaste.
I had promised myself I would study today... Well, promises to self aren't all that binding.
I would rather be alone alone than in a crowd.

Yes, the title has nothing to do with the post. So?

Frazzle me during the day, fine. I will dull down. You see, the fact that it is daytime will lull me enough for me to tell myself that it can be fixed yet. I may not do it. But, I know I could.
Just don't do it after 10 at night. I have a dream waiting and I will never get to see it.

Disturbed/ So Many Sos

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Or justified. I had a viral. For the second time. In the same week. Grrr!
Warning- I have taken to rambling.

Black. It is all black. No, wait, it is not. There is this tiny pin-prick of light, hovering in space. Its beam reach out towards me, but fade away as they get close. I find it irritating. I wish someone would turn it off.
Click.
Ah. Now it is all black. 
And I don't like it. I'd rather have that light on again. A single, constant focus for my irritation, to blame it all on. So much better than anger shooting off in all different and random directions without rhyme or reason.
So... I am done.
And to write this I have thunk and rethunk for the last one week. I have picked up my pen after what seemed like interminable years. It feels alien to my hand. My writing varies between font size 4 and 16. I thought my hand would shake too, but it didn't. It should have. It would have added to the rightness.
The past week has been a feverish hallucination. Today more so than ever. Now more so than ever. I fall into trance-like blues and tumble into hysteria which finally gives way into the mean reds. So has gone the cycle.
I have changed. I don't know what did it. I am now a bitch. And slow. I could be drunk. Or insane. Not suicidal though. So I like to think.
I have also become (more) dramatic. And repetitive. My apologies don't mean much. Maybe they never did...
I used to be nicer.
And I am sorry.
But don't believe me.
Also, don't comment.
-Xyz

Hm... No, I don't like this one. Not a lot. Maybe a bit... Maybe.

Of Naggings and Glazed Eyes

9th June
About CATE- They asked me about my favourite book. I should have written about Anna, just to show that I have read it. But I didn't. Would have been too big a lie. The Little Prince transcends description, which left me with Shadow Lines.

12th June
Dusty hot late mornings. Squinting through sweat and sun. Then suddenly a stranger comes along and does something trivial, but nice for you and you think about it for the rest of the day.

16th June
Drowning shadows... shadows drown... There are no shadows at night. There are no shadows also when there is nothing to cast it...
How about...
Bah!

17th June
Location- LSR
Time- 1330
Report- Two cats recline before me as I write, one gazing at me intently, the other at the first. Another prowls around at its own ease. The second one is now on its feet. It jumps up next to me and seat itself where my head was until recently. Yes, indeed, LSR campus- positively feline.

20th June
Apparently, most of the likes of Murphy's Law, Peter's Principle and Harris's Lament can be more succinctly put by way of what is known as the Jenkinson's Law, "It won't work.".

21st June
Cole's Law- slimly sliced cabbage.

27th June
"Phones now come with inbuilt dictionaries. I still prefer to use the phone to call one."

1st July
After a long time I wrote something vaguely creative, feel less confused, had insane fun, finished a book in a day and then looked for another. Good to be back.

2nd July
Cz, "I reached. Safe and sound, but dead."

4th July
It was raining. So I dragged a chair out and sat in it.

6th July
Feel drunk on overdose of satire. Want to turn up the volume of the radio enough to set the house vibrating. Also, have made standing in the rain a habit.

7th July
Shoot me already! No, wait until I am done with Stephen Leacock.

8th July
Long stretches of doing nothing do not go down quite as well as I had anticipated.

A Few Thousand Words

Clicked by an acquaintance at Mansarovar.

As Seen on a Tantra T-Shirt

One Night Stand

If only they had my size.

I took my time to realize that my phone number ends in 42.

Before the wryness settled in

I saw my marks and burst out into an absolutely hysterical cackle. 75 in English and 93 in Business Studies?! How did that come about?!

In battles and wars it is always the horses I pity.

A Bad Week

#1. Nearly drowned. Not very nearly, but nearly enough. And let me tell you, in case you have never been there, it is more of a strange sensation than particularly frightening (or, more plausibly my nervous system is plugged up all wrong). Almost gulped down mouthfuls of water, but remembered to not, saying to myself, "Ew! God knows what has been in here!",  and spewed it out reflexively. Somehow just did not remember to scream or, I don't know, lift my head and breathe. So, yes it sounds unreasonable, but, hey, in my defense I was conscious of how close the life-guard was and, thus, the consequent lack of need to panic and flail around, or rather, flail more than necessary. (The life-guard was pretty sure that I would not enter the pool for some time now, but I did, feeling all Douglas Adam-ish)
#2. Didn't make it to NLU-D. Damn. I did really want to. I knew I wouldn't, but it still wasn't pleasant seeing it in writing.
#3. Discovered I have ego issues. Never nailed myself to be the type to get all competitive. I normally am not. Hardly if ever. But there I was, going all red and hostile and feeling all sucky.
#4. Was weepy on pathetic things. Episode of Ghost Hunt, article in RD. Oh, boo!
#5. Had my wish fulfilled. Had more books to read than I can take (Gasp! Is this really happening?!). Most of them the wrong kind too (Gasp! They exist?!).
Plus side-
Mad Over Donuts (Sigh!)
Secrets and Lies (Finally)
Cookie something, Mother Dairy
Mother load of new songs!
I am so easy to please.

It is strange (and disorienting) how much one's (well, at least my) behavior can vary with the shade of one's nail-paint. Quite like Jughead and his beanie.
Key-
Glitter- bubbly, annoyingly so
Red- classy-ly trendy, somewhat
Black- rebellious in a "\m/" way
Green- punk
Pink- embarrassed (and here I look at it and pretend to wonder "how did this get here?")
I also realized how sinister black nailpainted fingers look. I looked down at my own hands, busily packing away the various notes I made on the important articles and amendments of our own darling and exhaustively vast constitution, yesterday and wondered, "Hands like these can't possibly be up to any good."
...
Name- KS (alias)
Age- 17
Current Status- nail-paint obsessed (beyond help *shudder*) 
...
Yup.

PS- In case you wondered, my CLAT went well. Not necessarily a good thing. It means it went well for a lot more people as well. Thus, there is a high chance the cut-off will be high too. Maybe I should just give up. I could always sell drugs. No, really, think of the scope, the opportunities... Bah!
 PPS- How can anyone possibly argue with the obvious superiority of Power Rangers Ninja Storm over  the other series?! It's a close one with Wild Force, but, eventually, it still wins.

No, I honestly cannot tell the difference between regular Dairy Milk and Dairy Milk Silk.. But, then, again, don't take my word for it, me being, after all, a girl with black nail enamel on one hand, glitter-on-colorless-base nail enamel (silver and gold alternatively) on the other and CLAT in two days. And I am hungry. Very.

On an aside, GK and Timbaland do not mix.

Who remembers that song that Manoj sings in RGV's Road? "Siski mein jo saas bhari thi pyar se mujhko bhar gayi re. Pehli nazar mein darri thi, doosri mein bhi darr gayi re." Killer!

Note to Self I- Stop being so punctual. It leads to twiddling with cells, feeling awkward, and making 'note-to-self's.
Note to Self II- Always carry your iPod. When feeling awkward you can always head-bang.

Wrote it don't know when-

Today I found a broken ring-
A rusted silver testimony
Of what once had been and no longer was.
A half written letter had I sent... ?
Flowers pressed dry swirled by
As I ruffled through the yellowed promises.
Today I found a smile
No longer wan and tight.
It cracked through the mold
That more restricted than masked,
And I can mean it now when I say,
"I am fine."

Go ahead, say it, it is very been there done that.
Okay, don't.

The things I find scribbled behind my notebooks!

I always fall for the antagonist. Not even almost always. Contrary the urge to strangle the protagonist for their sheer stupidity/impracticality/preachy-ness (Cz wrote about this recently). The bad guy also just so has 'it'. Don't ask what 'it' is. But he has it. And the other doesn't. So doesn't.
Epiphany of the day- I realized how less I knew about what I was most familiar with. Everybody does, I know, at some point. The whole taken-for-granted thingummy. But still, it surprises one.

Rut

I don't recall going through a writer's block longer than this one seems to last. Words simply escape me. Everyone knows that feeling of having a word almost on the tip of their tongue but not quite. So you know how absolutely frustrating it is. I am experiencing that. Every 5 minutes. Soon I'll slit a nerve or simply burst a vein if this doesn't change and fast.
Normally I don't get distracted by background noises. I mean, hello, I live in CP. But, recently, infact even right now, the faintest of whispers are more than enough to completely shatter any excuse of a creative thought I might be nurturing.
Epiphanies continue, of course, but I can no longer retain them long enough to thread them into any meaningful... meaningful... thing (godarnit!).
One of which I do remember is- it is almost always a choice between being happy and being right, isn't it.
My sentences are also slowly losing grammatical coherence.

Well. That's that.

PS- GK modules being the insipid things they are, I am balancing off going through them by reading Vampire Diaries. That's it, isn't it?! The reason behind this all!!! I don't even like the 'book' (if you must call it that)! I need a life! And a beer! And a knife! And my mommy!!!

Was ill. It rained. Couldn't resist. Got drenched. Am ill-er.

"You cannot learn a thing you think you know"
This line has haunted me ever since I heard it. The reason is lost to me.

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So many years have passed since first you sought

the lands beyond the edges of the sky,

so many moons reflected in your eye,

(familiar newness, fear of leaving port),

since first you sought, and failed, and learned to fall,

(first hope, then cynicism, silent dread,

the countless stars, still counting overhead

the seconds to your final voyage of all...)

and last, in glory gold and red around

your greatest search, your final quest to know!

yet... ashes drift, the embers cease to glow,

and darkened life in frozen death is drowned;

and ashes on the swell are seen no more.

The silence surges. Error 404.